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[07 Jan 2006|05:55pm] |
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hmmm people still use this thing hahahha
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[09 Jul 2005|11:36pm] |
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oink... just thought id update!
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[29 May 2005|03:46pm] |
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i have been thinking alot... thinking.. im thinking right now. half of u people i most probably will NEVER talk to ever again after highschool. THANK GOD! and the other half... well it was nice knowing u... i learned alot from u all. so all this thinking left me at the conclusion that everything we have done and will do is meaningless.. so fuck everything and do what YOU want. cuz honey nothing can really stop anyone. so go for it do what YOU need to do and not care about ur suroudnings cuz life truely is meaningless. PEACE!
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[03 Apr 2005|10:20pm] |
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Where have all the cowboys gone! Into my pants that’s right bitch! I had a pretty nice weekend yesterday I actually went out and enjoyed a night of fun with Diana. We attended Tina’s 18th b day party. I didn’t do anything that would lift up my mood. I just was a pretty good girl. I danced with Diana and Bita… then I laughed little… then I ate a little… then it was time to find a ride home so I asked Reza and he said “yeah but we might go somewhere after” I said “okay!” I asked where and I HEARD “carrows” I said hmm someone might have the munchies so pshhh okay! But as u know.. I heard wrong and ended up at pharos to smoke hookah GREAT! So sat there with a bunch of Persians and jews… and looked at them smoke hookah! When I got home I just collapsed and died into a great sleep…. Man I wish I was sleeping now. Today I finally got a dress! Im so excited… it costed my mom 450! Pshhh I wish she would always spend money like that on me. Oh well! Btw… “DEBBIE I HATE U!” lol “hey Hannah why don’t u try rolling down the window when u say that”
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| tired |
[31 Mar 2005|12:32am] |
So you know how people come back into your life?
You can’t do or say much, all you can really do is accept the fact that they are here.
All you want to do is scream and say, “Why did u leave in the 1st place fuckface!”
But u cant!
I’m tired of horny men filled with sperm. Can’t you just use your hand?
No, no… I guess you can’t.
I was at the park with Armen when a dog came by, I wanted to take it home
But I couldn’t
Armen got scared and ran away, I wanted to go and hold his hand and say its okay.
But I didn’t…
So today this little man called a teacher had another stupid panic attack in class. He kept rambling on how students are rued… but I think he was rued for wasting time during class.
We all grew stupider listening to him.
My eyes today were blood shot red… stress they say it is… but I just believe its Puff the magic dragon who tried to be there for her friend, but instead this friend of hers shut her down and ran off with some tree hugging bitch.
Yeah I have my places to run to... But some have been invaded by butterflies.
Did u notice the butterflies today?
I didn’t…
I fell asleep in the paint room today, got scared and ran out thinking it was 5th per
But I still had 20 mins of 3rd per left.
Still don’t have a dress… let’s just fuck it…
***FUCKING IT***
he turned his away msg on then logged off when I IMed him.. so why did he come back in my life in the 1st place?
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[07 Mar 2005|08:27pm] |
Nothing new nothing grand… procrastinating a bit and thinking of Armen. I guess you can say I am a little obsessed. Hmm today nothing ostentatious (hey Chris like my big word) happened just the usual went to school hung out with my Dana while we painted the infamous never ending mural. Then sat threw all my classes like a good little girl until 4th period when Greg and I got into a chalk battle. I chalked him so bad that he had to run away and hide from in the student parking lot. It was funny my English teacher was so confused, he just let us run around and chalk each other.. opps it wasn’t all fun and games…. Greg was about to chalk me and I backed up really fast and hit my head on the sharp corner of the wall. NOW I have a dent on my head GOSH! After that Dana, Vanessa, and I went to Jamba Juice and just sat on some lounge chairs and let the beautiful Encino sun hit our faces until we realized we had to be back in school. So with no delay we hoped into Dana’s cars and went down wells drive until we were back on school grounds. After that the day was pretty much a blur. When I got home I took my 3 hour nap I woke up and went for a walk around my “hood” in which it was rather boring because I didn’t take my cell phone, so I couldn’t call Shandy, that made me depressed. Well not really just lonely… I really can not wait until spring break, I need to catch up on life and just sit in the sun more, ehh but then ill be all brown, hmmmm? Lol
This weekend Armen and I are supposed to hang out I hope we do because I really want to see him. We might catch an early movie on Friday and on Saturday just “chill”, but I have the feeling something will come up. GAH! Why must I be so paranoid with such things like this, whatever, I guess it’s normal. (I hope)
MAN I don’t want to go to school. I think I say this to much, maybe I would want to go to school more If I didn’t watch so much movies… man last year in my film class I don’t think we saw as much as we do this year in Econ and English. Damn gibbons.
GIBBONS HAS LOGGED OFF
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[06 Mar 2005|09:37pm] |
So u know how I told my self no more guys until I find the right one! Well he might be the right one… and well I like him… but I’m not sure if I should! Because what if he is not the right one? Ahhh! Last night he and I were to hang out but unfortunately we did not… this event reminded of all the times William and I wanted to hang out but then randomly last minute “something came up!” I felt so bad that I went off on him and then began crying like an insane heroin addict. I cried until I fell asleep with him on the phone… I woke up thinking he still was on the phone but he was gone! This made me freak because I thought he was gone forever, but then I remembered he said I need to depend on my self more and not on others. I thought about what he said but DAMN it’s a hard thing for me to do because if someone is really nice to me, in which Armen is, I just want to be with them 24/7. Is this wrong? Gosh! I should be doing homework right now. But damn I need to let it slide this time. EH! I such a loser… 15 more weeks of school. Can u belive it! Ehhh I cant…
I NEED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE~
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[15 Feb 2005|03:43pm] |
I feel like pukeing and just collapsing on the cold floor and die. Why might I feel this way? Ehh I really don’t know to the answer to that but damn I’m tired of pretending things are okay with me. The truth is things are not okay with me and most people can’t see that. I have only had one person in my life notice and know the things I deal with and well that person wants nothing to do with me anymore.
Today I had a Great conversation with my friend Alana and she really understood where I was coming from. In a sense that was great but a part of me just knew that talking about certain things is not going to change what has happened or what is happening. I guess knowing this really hurts me and I just want to hide until someone who really can help me can find me, and I guess that someone is me. But how the fuck can I help my self… how the hell can I tell this dark shadow that has been following me since I was 10 to leave me alone!!! Or ho can I say “hey man presents don’t fix friendships”?? how I can stop turning to unwanted things when I’m sad??? I guess I will never know…………
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[22 Jan 2005|11:39pm] |
It’s astounding how much of an enjoyable night you can have when meeting new people. Tonight I went to the Key Club with my little blonde bitch Jess… Maaaaannn we had fun… not to mention Jess’s friend Sam was there. (Dude Sam is the funniest person I have ever met.) So we get to sunset and parked in the $10.00 parking over by the Key club. Hah yeah pshh we only payed six bucks for the parking and then another six buck for drinks. Cuz im a lil under age chica! Anyways so we go into the “club” and check it out…pshh it was pretty boring so we frolicked around and saw the other 4 rooms. Well not really just looked into them and said fuck it lets leave. So we go out side and shit my boobies were cold so I began to talk to them and insure them that things will get better. HAH! After that stupid Sam pops a U in the middle of sunset and then misses Roxford Street so we fuckin scream JELLO! And crack up for no reason cuz uhh Jessica masterbated today! Anywayz we laughed and laughed and laughed in the car until the word jello had no meaning. Not to mention we totally bashed on Jason… (The ugly guy)… man it was great. I had not felt so “complete” in months… In fact I really needed this random night tonight because this past week things were very bad. They were so bad that I had a teacher call me up and say “Bahareh you need a therapist”. Ugh! Oh well it was great. OHHHH!! Man can’t forget last night… shit I had fun last night too! Well in the beginning it was boring… because we attended the dance concert… it just didn’t interest me I kind of wasted three bucks and poor Moe wasted five! Anyways… after the dance concert Jess and I saw the DEZI look a like... but black hahah it was soooo funny we couldn’t stop stalking him until we lost him. PSH! After that we were heading home until jess and I had the sudden urge of hitting up Hollywood hahahhaha oh man im sure glad we did cuz we blasted “punk rock” all the way there and just felt infinite. Hollywood was fun this guy named Robby randomly drew us and did a poor job. But its okay cuz he was HELLA funny and then we walked around randomly and ate at mac dow. Afterwards jess and I had the best conversation on all the fuck ups of Jason. Man he is a dirty lil fucker I hate him.. pshh glad to say I knew he was crazy before all yall did.. anyways I had fun thanx I needed it! Always remember
JELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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[17 Jan 2005|12:36am] |
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semisonic |
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It’s Sunday night almost Monday and wow I feel like “shit”… I guess… what a weekend, I didn’t do much but yet it felt grand, not in a good way of course… but it just felt grand. I ran into a familiar face on my space... and I felt like sickness ran threw my body. So I quickly IMed Diana and I talked to her and it made me feel better then I quickly IMed Bita so that calmed me down more... and then Diana and I talked on the phone.. Something we never really do... so everything was back to normal again. Well a little bit. Tomorrow is Monday or should I say it’s Monday and it’s the day for nigger’s lol. So that means no school! YAY! I decided to paint a bit and then read… maybe even go to park if the weather is still this good. I can’t believe this great weather, its so beautiful it’s hard to believe it was raining just last week, and everywhere was flooded with water.
I really don’t like it when people leave your life and don’t speak to you for a long time appear out of no where and just believe things are great. It makes you think so much about shi that shouldn’t be even thought about.
Man I wish I knew what I was saying... Man I am tired okay I’m going to go talk to jade. Bye!
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[08 Jan 2005|04:30pm] |
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Last night as I was re painting my glittering shoe my phone started to ring…. I looked at the number and saw is was an 805 area code… right away I knew it was Dylan... or should I say right away I knew it that is was “that guy” that I had forgotten his name. I felt like such fool. I impatiently picked up my phone and said “hello!” He seemed stunned that I actually picked up… but I wasn’t I still was thinking what his name was. As time passed by our conversation became deeper and deeper… our voices became calmer and softer. Soon we both started talking about anything random that came to our minds. It was great… but I still couldn’t remember his name. I felt even more nervous… he kept saying Hannah this… Hannah that… baha.. this.. “Bahareh you awake?” and then the time came when he said.. Hannah do u know my middle name? I said noooo.. Then he said... uhhh do you know my first NAME? and I just kinda stayed quiet and laugh a little and then finally said no… he was WHAT! Omg we have talking for this past 2 hours and u don’t know my name… I just kept laughing and said im sorry. He said its okay really fast and said u need to guess my name.. I said okay…Ian... Phil??... Tom… ummm DAN! Lol he was laughing hysterically and finally said its Dylan... As soon as he said Dylan I said OMG!! OMG!! IT IS! I KNEW THAT! Anyways after that we talked for another 3 hours and wow my hone died once during the talk and I called him immediately and very fast. It was a great talk we even talked about the old ass hole.. Umm what’s his name? lol… oh well his name doesn’t matter. The only that matters right now is DYLAN. Great name huh? For today the name Dylan means happy.. Just for today... I say this because him and I are never going o talk again. It always happens. Great conversations with someone and then hey u forget about them. Lol oh well.. DYLAN… I need to go and take a shower im going out with my kosher queen tonight and we are goin clubbin haha. We need to dress like hot chicas and be hoes and try to find someone who we can get married with haha. Yeah! Alright adios.. Wish me luck on finding a husband! haha
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[30 Dec 2004|09:25pm] |
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moldy peaches |
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Its winter break… is I supposed to forget about school… let go… feel free and just unwind? It’s rather hard to do so knowing I am failing my government class. The fear of not graduating is killing me because I truly hate my high school surroundings and wish for it to leave my sight. But damn failing government is a tragic sign saying, BAHAREH U SHALL REMAIN HERE FOREVER! Ugh but how can I do so… I can’t stand my “friends” one after another showing off there fake smiles and saying “ooo hello”… and the teachers with their pointless knowledge that they do not even comprehend. Very nervous… wanting to cry… wanting to die… but I guess I must stay alive and see what happens with in the next 3 weeks of returning to the hell that Roy Romer has created for us LAUSD kids. On the brighter side... Um there is not one story to tell that is on the brighter side... How morbid of a life does one live? No one to turn to but a fucking LIVE JOURNAL… hoping someone could hear my soaring cries… Going to be silent
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[19 Dec 2004|10:55pm] |
goin to vegas........... joy...............
missing terrance... baahumbug......
dieing.... mmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeepppp
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[07 Dec 2004|07:59pm] |
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fuckin rain go away.. fuckin azn u aint got no game. (kevin??) fuckin english teacher he is the one with no brain, teaching nothing with no real meaning. fuckin kids and their clash of 60's 70's and 80's clothing thinking yeah we are the innovative and creative ones. so here i am fucking.. can u get the point man? nothing is new no one has anyhing out of the blue... everything has been done and said. so where is there to go from here? somewhere near? far? peirce? anywhere? happy HANNAH..kaaaahhh
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[22 Nov 2004|07:43pm] |
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yeah fall formal was great everyone looked nice yeah yeah yeah... not worth the money.. geting high in the bathroom was great finding extra weed was even better.
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| EPPER DEMANZA! |
[01 Nov 2004|08:29pm] |
Quite hesitant at this moment and feel like yelling the name Epper Demanza… This name came to me today while I was taking my pious afternoon nap. How it came about in my abhorrent mind I can not say. So EPPER DEMANZA it is! Today I felt horrid because everything I said towards my dear friend Shandy she would give me “the look”. This look can kill souls, minds, and hearts. But usually this look is given if and only if you have done something stupid. I can not recall doing anything stupid so this “look” was given at a wrong time. I tell her “oh shit I lost my journal” she gives me “the look”. I say other pointless things like that and she gives me “the look”. It’s sad but very true… What have I done to deserve “the look”? I know I am a brilliant mind and so are my friends. But why “the look” So EPPER DEMANZA it is.
This weekend was rather nice. On Saturday I went to work and then partied at Lorie’s little bon fire party. I played Romanian music and Danced insanely around with Dana. But what caught my infamous interests was this guy named matt or mark or some white boy name. He knew lyrics to the o zone songs. He sang along with me in a strange voice and saying ROMANIA ROCKS. It was exceedingly comical. On Sunday I attended work again but didn’t go as well. But whatever I’m over it after work Chris and Ashley picked me up and we drive over to Manhattan Beach and attended J.J.’s Halloween Party. JJ was dressed up as the Joker… and might I add it was brilliant! I was dressed up as a skanky butterfly, Chris was a safari tour guide person from Disney, Ashley was my lil dork, Jessica was a skanky cow girl, and others just looked cute.. lol well the truth is the others I couldn’t tell what their costume was. But I had fun so that’s what matters YAY!
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| ska is good... |
[03 Oct 2004|11:27pm] |
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Its Sunday night my kick back day… I am really tired because right now cuz last night I went to a pretty cool Ska show at the El Rey. My dear old friend Chris drove my friend Rachelle and I out there. I met up with Dana and Izzy but really didn’t hang out with them that much. We saw this band called The Slackers and might I add they were GREAT! The band was so alive and crazy. They had a good beat so it made everyone happy and extreme in ways you can not imagine. After the show we went to west wood to pick up some food. Man I hate going to west wood so many fucking Persians who think they know EVERYTHING! This morning it was pretty mellow for me I didn’t do much but had some of Dana’s fake “special brownies” damn hah she lied to me. Its okay cuz I love her… around three I went over my friend’s house and just talked about nothing. After a while I got bored and started teaching this kid how to play the guitar. I love his whole family sooooo much they remind of me of the Brady Bunch, they are 7 children and all love each other so much. Aaron and Daniela are my buddies we have known each other for longest time. Their father was my daddy’s best friend since h/s. Anyways it sux that we cant hang out as much. Aaron goes to usc now and I think he wants become a dr just like his dad and Daniela was in Israel up until Thursday night. She goes back in 2 weeks. It sux! Speaking of people leaveing Rachelle moves to france tomorrow im gana miss my neighbor of 12 years… blah I hate it when shit goes bad. Anywayz I am really tired and I can careless about this journal.. I LOVE U SHANDY (((ps shandy we didn’t get tipped on Saturday))) goodnight yawl
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[27 Sep 2004|02:44pm] |
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I hope all my Jews had a good Yom Kippur. The unbreakable fasting part is very tough. Especially when the weather was so hot! For me it was okay but the thirst was so throbbing that I wanted to die. In the morning I was Portola and saw some friends Monica came by for a few mins and we talked and bonded (It was great). When Monica left I hung out with Negin (Nikkei), we talked a bit and read “The Jewish book of WHY!” it was rather interesting book and it helped kill time. Before I knew it Bita had arrived and we went Temple hopping from nestle, to both Wilbur’s, to HDC and VBS. Bita learned how to parallel park and Negin and I had a great laugh. (We love u bit bit) after VBS we went back to Portola and broke our fast together with water and brownies! (Thanks Bita) After making my way out of the hungry crowed of Persian Jews my brother and I went to Jamba Juice and bought fruit smoothes for the family. I feel asleep really early Saturday night so I didn’t do much. On Sunday I went to work, work was rather boring this weekend no tips, no fun kids, bitchy parents, and bitchy co workers. But I got happy when I saw Shandy drive by. She made me SMILE! Heh…. When I got home from work I fell asleep again forgetting I had to do a report for English. When I work up I went online and saw Monica wanted to see a movie so I agreed to see it. I’m so glade we went. We saw 1st daughter and ate corner bakery. The movie 1st daughter was such a chick flick I LOVED IT! Not to mention the Russ and my bro are extras in it. Hah. Monica and I had fun I named Sunday night MonBah… the MonBah night. Yeah it was great.
Today I stayed home because I felt ill and just wanted to hide from school and people. I guess it was nice but could have been better because I really didn’t get to sleep in. A part of me feels horrid about not going to school because I need to help out with the mural at school. We are no where close to finish. I wish Dana and I didn’t need to work on the mural! This mural is never going to be finish STUPID CLASS OF 04. It bothers me greatly because class of 05 will not have a mural. Later tonight I am going to see Caroline. She wants me to help her paint her car. I think we are going to be putting pink stars on her bug. That will be cool because her car does need a little razzle dazzle. Plus we need to clean the insides of the car so I guess we will be busy doing shit.
School’s been pretty easy. I mean it’s my senior year so I have four electives and two real classes but I guess you can call it one real class, because for econ in Mr. Gibbons we don’t do much. On Friday the whole hummanitoss (spelling?) class was just goofing off and Stephanie, Greg, Janaie, and Sequoia were dancing. OH! Can’t forget my Romanian music. Lol I popped out my I pod and made people listen to cool Romanian music by Ozone. So yeah senior year is great especially when your drunk half the time SHH!!!
I think I will go and find something productive to do. Luv you guys all and stop making pointless drama to the ill minds of children today! Lol just had to sorry….
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| oh the happyness~ |
[02 Sep 2004|09:48pm] |
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YAY its here its here~ what you may ask??? !!!!! lol! THE 3RD BOOK of Sabrina is here yay~ so happy... indeed byeeeeeee
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| lets go back to the stars.... |
[28 Aug 2004|11:09am] |
I love the city of Chicago and the suburbs of IL. The city is clean but rahter cold. But the rich greens are painted all over the grass and trees. Beautiful summmer flowers fill the gardens and the sound of the new millinium park fills the whole city with a enchanting sound of music and children playing on the grass. Lake michigan.. so great that it looks like the california cost line is laying there looking beautiful. sail boats of all colors sail about the water. When you look up you see the breath takeing skyline. The sears tower soaring so high in the air makes you smile and feel short. I love the city of chicago I wish I was there at this moment. But I am not, at this moment I am located at home listening to coldplay and thinking about cleaning my room. The answer to that is will not. I will just sit here untill three to go to work.
Yesterday Shandy and I went to Iguna and went shopping. Unfortunetly we did not have a lot of time to our selves to shop. I bought a dr seuss lunch box and shandy got a b day present for a friend. We wnt to baja fresh and two really good looking guys were there. one looked like this girl in hummanitoss so it was funny. ((shandy i had a dreamed about them)) for now i shall finish my conversation with Josh. good day everyone.
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